Stike out for Bridge Boy, Round 2 goes to Mr. Veins

I went on a date with Mr Veins a while ago. we never really clicked. Maybe it was because he had a picture of himself all jacked-out-and-veiny on his Iphone(read about it here) . who really knows... :P He's also my anti-date type. I have only ever dated white men. It's just how I was raised to be, and my relationships in the past have reflected the racial stereotypes that I grew up with while living in an all-white-African house hold...(I know this isn't right, but its just part of who I am) ...so it was a sizable deal for me to venture out with this guy.

anyway, We went on one date, and I just didn't feel the urge to do a follow up.

well, he's started messaging me again for a second date.
I wasn't going to go on any more dates, and try to give the relationship with Bridge Boy a serious effort, but Bridge boy got upset cuz im "not serious enough about us", and he accused me of just wanting to keep looking for something better, or have something on the side.

well, you know what Bridge Boy? It's kind of hard to have a relationship when you dont have regular sex. and the feelings aren't there yet. We have no intellectual conversations because you have nothing interesting to talk about. You are like talking to a child who still has not developed social etiquette. You seemed mature at first, but the truth is, you havent experienced life yet. You dont know anything about Relationships, or what I've lived through, or how to carry on a mature conversation about anything other than lifting weights and how much your father bugs you. You've never traveled, and have no desire to. and you are pushy as hell about us being a serious thing.

and I was trying. Trying to be patient. Trying to give a little. Trying to make it work. Trying to feel something. because, you seem to be a risk worth taking. but it's not good enough for you.
So I'm done.

and I'm giving Mr. Veins a second chance... why not? if nothing else I will have more good stories to share.

Bridge Boy: the Thing between us

The other night he sent me a text asking when I was hitting the sack.
I replied, "now, wiped out"
He then said: "i'm sleepy too. Im getting used to falling asleep with you"
-there he goes, being cute and needy again.
This made me cringe a bit. I didnt want him there. I wanted a night off from him. I am not feeling this thing thats happening between us. So I told him I was already in bed, and I'd talk to him the next day.

***
Another night he sends me a text:

"My dad called me tonight. Said if you're gonna be my girlfriend lol and we are serious about each other he wants us over for dinner. :p"

I then shoved my foot in my mouth and replied : "lol nice."
He replied: "Not interested?"
Me: "Maybe"
him.... no response.... 2 hours go by, and now I'm feeling bad.
He clearly wanted me to say "yes I'd love ever so much to be your girlfriend *big-shiny-eyes and batting lashes* but I didn't, and now he's upset or offended by my response.
So I sent him another text, asked if he was still up, and we chatted a bit about nothing. He's let it go for now. but im sure this will arise again...

Bridge Boy the Set U:p

I have a dating rule: Never date a man you meet at the bar.
They are there for the wrong reasons, and you will end up having a purely sexual relationship. which is fine if you are down with one night stands. So If a guy asks me for his number, I usually give him the local cab company's number.
I told Bridge Boy of my trick one night when trying to ensure him I am not seeing anyone else, and that I can be trusted when out with my friends.

*** cut to weekend***
I went out with friends on the weekend, and didnt invite him.- i needed some fun time with just myself and my friends - when I told him I was going out,he was offended that I didnt want him around, and then he said "you better be giving out fake numbers tonight".
This comment was in reference to my usual escapades with men I meet at the bar.
I replied "are you trying to claim me?"
He replied: "I thought that was a given"
I replied: "awe thats so sweet"-and avoided any further response. I'm not ready to be labeled as a "We" just yet.

***Cut to next morning***
He picked me up and took me out for breakfast. we sit down at a table at the restaurant, and he gets a text from his Big Brother. . . who is in line with his fiance at the same restaurant, ...and they want to know if they can "crash our date". . . it's a set up.

I've avoided meeting his family, or going to his house this far. He's told his family all about me already. I haven't spoken of him to anyone but my roommates - unavoidably so as we all live together and he's there Every Day -. I am trapped. They are here, I cant say no. so, I say I dont mind, smile politely, and put on my Poker face.

Game: Bridge Boy 1, Single Girl 0 - well played Bridge Boy, well played.

My Hubby "Vinny" - Not Bridge Boy.

I rehung my engagement picture of my Ex-Big D. and I on the living room wall. (i know, i know. You are all thinking - this chick has lost her F***ing crackers now! fo' sheez!)
but I did a little editing to it first.... Here it is:





Yup. that's Vin Diesel! my new Hubby :) . This picture hangs proudly in my living room now. I follow him on FB and tagged him in it too. I hope I get a message from him(VinnyBabySexyHnny) about it one day *CrossingFingers!!!*

The other day Bridge boy and I were chilling on the couch watching T.V with my roomies. We were all making jokes about face book relationship statuses. I turned to him, and as a joke, said "would you like to be in an "It's Complicated" relationship with me on FB?
He replied - "it would be better than nothing" *looks intently at me with wanting eyes*
I avoided this response and said: well I think I'm going to put "Its complicated with Vin diesel, to be funny"
He replied - "I'll have to change my name to Vin Diesel then :)"

I was instantly sorry I even brought it up.This conversation made me a bit uncomfortable, as we have only known each other a very short time, and how could he want a relationship already? This was the first of many moments to come in which he tries to label "US".

Bridge Boy : Should I Stay or Shoudl I Go now?

Bridge Boy and I have spent most every day together for the last 2 weeks.He's very sweet, says all the right things, and is a great cuddler. But his shiney is starting to wear off. He's gone from adorably cute and sweet talker, to needy and emotional.

He sends me texts all day long. This is nice, but I think he's just trying to keep tabs on my whereabouts. I'm starting to feel trapped by this relationship. It's to much, to quick. I was just starting to come to terms with being single and alone.
...perhaps I've become TO comfortable being single and alone.

He wants to sleep over every night. (we still don't have sex - so i might as well be having a sleepover with a girlfriend) Correction, we've done it, but does it count when there is lack of orgasm? Is this even worth pursuing? I like sex. who doesnt? if you dont, then you're not doing it right. and I cant fall into another relationship where we go for months not touching each other. This has "Warning" written all over it.

I asked a friend about this, and her response was a reference to Sex and the City, by Samantha
Jones: "Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me." - basically telling me to run for the hills.

image via google

Bridge Boy

We met for the first time on the walking bridge. This is one of my favorite places to go on a date. There's a beautiful scene of my favorite place to live, and the atmosphere is charged with potential romance.

On this evening it was freezing. (-25 or something crazy Canadian winter time) we walked and talked. He's a twenty-something, about 3 years younger than myself. He's big into body building and seems to be a hard working goal driven individual. He really seems to have his shit together.

Then I headed to derby practice for the night.
He messaged me right away to ask to see me again.
So we met up again that same night. nothing kinky; just cuddles all night long; like high school kids. I was so tired, I snored. and may have drooled in my sleep. He made fun of me for this the next day. I diverted this embarrassing moment by pulling out one of my awesome cheesy jokes: Whats Black, White, and has 16 wheels? ...a Zebra on Roller Skates!
It totally worked, cuz guess what?
The next night he came over again!
we played an epic game of Jenga. Turns out he's the perfect match for me because he takes it as serious as I do, and this game turned into on epic tipping tower of fun. Before he left, he asked me to spend the next day with him again.



I enjoy the fact that he is pursuing me, and I dont have to worry if he likes me, or think about if he actually wants to see me again. He lays it right on the line. He's bold about what he wants and takes charge. This could work for me :)

***Cut to night 3***
We've spent 3 nights together. 2 of those, he slept over. In none of those, we had sex. We haven't talked about it. or tempted to push that far. We just hang out, and snuggle all night. It almost seems . . . not normal? There seems to be no pressure to do it; but it seems weird to not do it.

How often do you meet a guy who actually waits for the right time to make love to a girl?
Now my mind is racing.
He's so cute, and seems sure of himself; he can't be a virgin. . . ?
We click and seem to have chemistry, so he must want me. . . ?
Could he be overly religious?
Could his sex number be far less than mine?
Could we be sliding into the friend zone?

oh dear....