Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Trust Issues and Single Anniversaries

whenever I get  a call from an unknown number and there is a woman's voice on the other end, I get this overwhelming fear that it is a girlfriend or wife calling because they've found out their partner is cheating on them, and I'm the other woman...

I dont believe I am this woman right now in any of my relationships, but, I dont really know any of them well enough, and feel that this could very well happen at any point.

Mr. Nightlife used to have a bad habit of leaving his phone at the bar after work, and the next day someone would find it, and call me, as I was the last person to text him, or him to call. and every time I would get this fear that he hadn't told me something, and that this was his real girlfriend calling me....

I have a deep trust issue happening here. I dont know why or where it's coming from...
Well it's probs from the abandonment I've felt in my past 2 serious relationships:

My first relationship - I came home from  long weekend with my family in PEI to an empty apartment, and my Boyfriend of 3 years had moved out while I was away, and left me for a real red-head and a street bike. I had dyed red hair and a dirt bike then. I sold the dirt bike and dyed my hair blond after this breakup.

And Then Big D. left me after a whirlwind explosive trip to Dominican Last February, after his family had an intervention, and made him choose between me and them. The size of the diamond didnt save my marriage. . . it just masked the ugly that was underneath our "perfect" relationship. Once we officially split (a.ka. I wouldnt let him live in my basement apt anymore) he replaced me a week later with some dumb British bimbo. I permed my hair after this break up... I'm such a fool.

Lets face it, this shit would f*** anyone up. But I'm trying not to let it  ruin what I have now. I can't believe it's been almost a year already....
Perhaps I should have a Single & Fabulous Birthday Bash to celebrate 1 year of freedom...?

1 comment:

  1. I totally think you should throw a big party! It will help you make the best of it and stay positive. <3!