I've transitioned out of the single market at a steady pace this past month; and into a simpler happy bliss with my new beau.
Most women would find this easy and normal. Going from single to attached. In fact, most women dream of nothing else, but being happily attached. I have always had commitment issues when letting a guy into my personal space. I fight them off and fight to keep my personal identity as an independent fun girl. In my last relationship, I would pack up his things and leave them in a box near the front door. I'd even throw hissy fits and complain to my friends that his stuff was taking over my apartment. I justified it by saying I had a small apartment made only for one. I find myself still fighting for my space like this now. But for the most part, I really like having SpitFire around.
The other day, I gave him a small drawer in the bathroom for his stuff.
Yup. That's pretty epic commitment from me right there.
and then there's another issue....
Does anybody else have problems with men still calling/texting for booty calls and hang outs? This was a change that had to take place to turn my life around and head down a road made for two.
Step One: Stop shenanigans with the non-stable relationships in my life.
It began with turning down the Carpenter. Blowing off Bridge Boy. Declining a booty call from the Pilot. One last date with My Girl, followed by silent ignored texts. Ignoring that last text from the boy down the street. and so on. I hoped they would get the hint; "I'm ignoring you, I'm busy".
and when that didn't work,
Step Two: I pulled out the "B" word - I'm with my new Boyfriend.
They all wished me the best in my new relationship in their own way.
The Carpenter questioned and tried to turn me back at first. My favorite statement from him was this- "Why dont girls just like sex!?"
He's such a Dick.
The Pilot kept sending me messages even after I asked him to stop. At one point I had to tell him I would delete him from all my connections the next time he messaged me for sex.
A few weeks later he sent me an inbox apologizing for his behavior and how he had treated me.Our relationship was complicated and unkind to say the least. Something I really could never write about. So This apology was nice to get from him. But it was nothing I did not consent to and put myself through either. We were both at fault for an unstable relationship.
Step Three: No More Dates
The site had gone silent. The messages in my inbox sat unopened. Those people - the potential new dreamboat, and the pretty faced pixie - they no longer mattered. I was to busy being loved, and no longer searching for love.
I threw in the towel in the single life boxing ring. I'm fully
committed/Invested/attached whatever you want to call it. I'm all about
this guy and need nothing else to fill that void any more. My void has
filled up and bubbled over with the excitement I feel when I'm thinking
about him, and the happiness I get from being next to him. He's the only
one I want to spend time with. He's the only one I want. So the time came...
I deleted my online dating account.
Step Four: Meet the Parents
This weekend I introduced SpitFire to my Rents. We showed up unannounced and surprised them with a weekend visit. They were so excited to see me. and they opened right up to Him as well. The big tough guy look, tattoos and military style did not phase them an inch.
He made instant favorites with my mom buy sharing house building plans, and helping her find her dream log home. And he won my dad over by sharing a love of guitars, and spending a morning going through my dads collection.
Meet the parents was a success. He has joined our circle of trust. He's definitely a keeper, and someone worth dropping everything for :)