The Right Answer.

I'm a good looking girl with a smart mind. It attracts all kinds... and often puts me into situations like this...

One Night, On a work meeting; I was sizing out a minor hockey team.
Boys aged 16-18, and their coaches.

Well, I made most of the boys nervous or bashful.
Men often tell me I am intimidating. I've come to terms with this fact.
and the men all took their turn chatting me up.

The next day I was recaping the sizes with the 2 head coaches.
We came to an assistant coaches name with the size 3XL next to it. He says "He's not a 3XL!"
I Replied, with a smile, "He said he's bulking Up" - ( as in working out a lot...)
Head Coach #2, "Oh God Who didnt hit on you last night!?!"

We laugh it off and move on.

Just before Head Coach 1 and 2 leave, Coach 1 turns to me and asks, "Do you have 'Mr.Bulk''s phone number?"
I reply, as I pull out my pen to take another note, " No. But I can take it down if you need me to call him?"
Head Coach 1, "Good. You dont need his number"
Head Coach 2, Laughing, "You passed the test. No was the right answer"


My personal Work Rule when dealing with flirtatious clients: always conduct yourself in a way that you would be proud of tomorrow. Do not sacrafice your career for someone elses agenda. No matter how handsome they are.

Oops... did I say that?

Have you ever been doing the dirty with your main squeeze, and thought mid-thrust, *I'm bored* . . .?
C'mon, don't lie. You start thinking about the shoe sale at the mall  and pray to Prada, or check your nails and think *damn! I need I need a mani*
well, I didnt just think it,
I said it out loud.... "I'm Bored" . . . .oops...
There I go again, f**ing shit up.
After it came out I felt bad, but couldn't take it back. It was already out there.
The poor guy just laughed it off. We made a joke, and carried on.

I think it's time to mix it up.

My Funny Moments

Mr. Masturbater messages me on POF again : “can I help you?”

I talk out loud to myself and say “Eww gross Why won’t you go way!”

RoommateN sitting behind me on couch, starts laughing out loud at this statement, and then I show her who messaged me :P she laughes even harder.

***********************************************

Surfing a guy’s profile on dating site. Thinking out loud to myself: “Why isn’t there a poke button on this thing? I want to poke you.”

RoommateN,  starts laughing at this statement.

I clarify: “oops, that sounds bad doesn’t it? I meant like on facebook”

RoommanteN: “You really meant -I want to stick my penis in you!” *laughs hysterically at me* We both crack up *ROFL*

Sh*t My Friends Say 2

This weekend, some of my Sorority sisters got together for an old school style  girly sleepover. complete with horrible-for-you-snacks, Movies, Truth or dare, Prank texts to boys (because, texting is the new prank calls) and girl talk until 6am.

here's a little bit of what came out of it:

RoommateN bought supplies to make homemade lipgloss.

Ingrediants; vasaline and cool-aid.

Instead of cool-aid, she had the calorie-wise crystal light packets.

So I said to her, :“ Oh that’s better anyway, cuz…Who wants to get fat from lipgloss?!”
RoommateN: “Why!? Are you gonna eat it?”

Bahahaha’s ensued

"They taste like CHEESE . . . balls!!!!"  *10 girls laugh hysterically*

said while eating some new giant tube of cheesy-poofs 

TGirl on a truth topic: "One time I ate a whole bag of starburst, and the next day I pooped and it was green!"

Friend pics dare:  her response to the instructions, which involve dressing like tarzan

“do you have to get naked?”

***************************************************************

Prank Texting late at night:

• on a scale of goat and elephant, where would you hide your marble?
• on a scale of goat and elephant, which would you rather have sex with?
• on a scale of 1-10, what would you rate your willingness to have sex with a dolphin?
• would you like some cha cha with your tango?
• want to ride a carousel with me?
• would you like some hot sauce with your goat?

**************************************************************

 Dare:

 

• Put ice cube down your pants and let it melt.
• Sister runs to neighbor boys house, knocks on door and waits til someone answers to sing "I'm a little Tea Pot" . Sadly, no one was home. so instead, she stood in the drive way and screamed it to the world.