Thursday, August 16, 2012

Life & NightMares entwine

Last night I had 2 nightmares. The kind that are so real, you feel as if you cannot escape, until finally you wake up cold scared and sucked of all energy.

The first - real life events leading to the first dream:
My mother makes amazing mini cheese cakes, and I have asked her to make these for my wedding.
The other day she told me I should just make them myself, it would be easier if I did, than her driving 3 hours with a box full of cakes.

I am a horrible cook/baker/anything-food-related-maker. and I tried to reason with her that no matter how easy the recipe, I could not get it right like hers.

second part to the real life 1st story;
My Friend makes amazing cupcakes and I have asked her to do our cake and cupcakes for the wedding.
and for a few days I've been deliberating over a faux wedding cake with the cupcakes.

Nightmare #1 Ensues:
Wedding day comes, and we have no cake. Disarray and confusion. Unhappy wedding story.
I wake up upset.

Second Life events leading to the second nightmare:
My current job has become a bit unstable. longevity of our company has become questionable at best. rumors of closing shop have circulated. and I worry about my stability there right now, in turn worrying about how I will continue to pay my bills if in fact changes do come.

Nightmare #2 Ensues:
My business closes, 1 days notice to all employees.
I lose my job. I have to move across Canada and move in with my big brother in B.C. in hopes of finding new work.
And then, I'm alone in his apartment, and robbers come and try to break in. and they get in. and its chaos. I'm calling for help, as I wake up in a deep sweat and harsh breathing, with terrible terrible fear flowing through my mind and body.

I am desperately wishing for some stability in my life at this point and things I can depend on...

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