Please Don't get me Jewelry

Here I go being brutally honest again. At least my boy knows exactly what I want. ..
SpitFire has been sneakily conspiring to buy my birthday gift. He makes excuses to go to the mall, and scopes out the jewelry store often.

Yesterday I threw a spoke in his wheel and said this-

Please dont get me jewelry from that store. I never really like that stuff. sure it's shiny, but it's not gawdy enough. (-I like anything ghetto-gold, big and tacky) Plus I dont need any. It will just end up hanging with the rest of my things on the wall.

So Why dont you get me something useful.
Like a Dental Certificate.That shits expensive! -true story, I really used this example
Or a Tanning package - cuz I'm tannorexic and can never get enough. that shits expensive too
Or new Hair! - (I <3 my Weave!)
or gift certificates to buy new underoos :D -as I turn to show him some holy, but still sexy(?), undies I was sporting. - dont judge me. New underwear is low on the list , after all the new roller derby gear I needed this spring.

I personally think that's a bang up list for gift ideas.
And probably defines who I am better in 4 items than any jewelry piece could.