Thursday, February 2, 2012

Its Funny How...

#ItsFunnyHow... was this mornings trending topic on Twitter. and it seemed perfect for my current situation.
I posted: it's funny how the men who treat you like dirt are often the ones you cant stay away from....

When my roommates catch me making plans with the Carpenter, they yell at me and tell me to stay away from him. not to give in. That he treats me like crap.  and the worst part is, he knows he does too. He's openly stated, that if he was nice to me, he'd probly never have seen me again. It's like, he's made it okay to be a dick, and justified it in  a way that is surprisingly accurate and washes the dirt away.

But , how I feel about him, really -
With the Carpenter, I dont need a boyfriend. He fills the void I have with that empty space in my bed at night. and then he leaves, and I can focus on my Priorities. This is why I have no relationship with  another human being right now - because my priorities are as follows: 1. Work, 2. Roller Derby, then 3. Social Life; and then in a sad last, 4. Intimate Relationships.
So this bad relationship between I and the Carpenter... it works. For now.

And then there's MargaritaMondays...
Last night I messaged him again...
He's on a course for work close to Montreal. I just sent him a small memo.... letting him know I'll be there for a Roller Derby Booty Camp... and maybe... if he was around... it would be cool to hang out?
God I am shameless. But I think about him all the time. Even after we split the first time, and then he left in a way I should never forgive him for, short of disrespect and his friends being complete dicks to me; he's still one of the only guys I've met that I've really liked... and he said he'll meet me in Montreal ... *Big Smiles & Happy Feelings* ...just one more night of torture to my soul disguised as fun and feelings of fake love. It will be worth it, right?

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