Friday, January 27, 2012

Mr.Masturbater

I met Mr. Masturbater one night, and it was like a whirlwind of fun. He drives fast, and moves even faster. We met in the parking lot of a coffee shop. From there we drove around town, singing along to music on the radio. We went down to the "Bridge to no-where", and stood at the end and talked for an hour. as I was driving back uptown to my house, I hit a bad pothole and busted out a flat tire. Mr. Masturbater stayed with me until the tow truck guy came and saved my car.

His flattery was overkill. His compliments were un-ending. He kept telling me I'm perfect. and I'd reply, I'm far from perfect.

2 days later, he came over and cooked dinner at my house. We were hanging out watching the Office Season 8, trying to catch me up on what I've missed in the past 8 months of no t.v. While we sat on the couch together, he started pushing the boundaries. and I wasn't feeling "It" with this guy. So I tried to avert his attention else where, and change the topic whenever he'd say something sexual.

He was persistent. he blamed the bulge in his pants. Said he couldn't focus on a real conversation with me while this "thing" was going on in his pants. I started getting turned off by this. I told him, No, I'm not sleeping with you. There was no leading on of any sort here. He was just a horny guy being  a complete perv now. it got so bad that eventually he asked,

"Can I go to the bathroom and fix it? will you be offended if I do? "

I  told him to do whatever he needed to do to stop being  a perv. So that's what he did... He jerked off in my bathroom, on our second date.

Ding Ding Ding. can you say "Winner".

Next, he took some mouthwash, walked around the house while swooshing, then went to the front door, opened it, and spat out the front door, onto/over the front porch...

This blew me away. I was like "What the fuck was that!? Did you just spit outside? WHY? You could have done that in the bathroom"
He said he liked to walk around and check things out while he did that.
Again, I was shocked and put off.

Some people are f***ing weird.




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