Sunday, December 25, 2011

Canadian White Girl Problems

Sometimes I wish I had a camera crew following me around to catch the ridiculous events that occur in my life.

It was the morning after our Christmas staff party. The cab driver had just dropped me off at my car. I was heading for a breakfast date with my girlfriend.
I unlocked the car, only to find it frozen shut. This car was more tightly frozen shut than a nuns legs.

I stood there for a minute cursing and banging on the car door, as a guy in a snow plow across the way laughed at me and my Canadian white girl problems.
I was getting desperate. I was standing there in -10 degrees, 5 centimeters of snow, in a mini dress and high heels. Starting to freeze.

So I popped the trunk of the car. It opened!
I started emptying everything out of the trunk into the snowbank.
Then, as the snowplow guy sat watching my shivering-mini-ass, I jumped into the trunk of my car and pushed the back seat down and shimmied my way into my car.
Thank god i'm not a fatty-patty. If you've every tried to shimmy through that tiny hole between your trunk and back seat, you'll understand how ridiculous and small this space was.

Once I was in, I climbed to the front seat and pushed the car door open from the inside.
I now have a scrapped up knee from this ridiculous adventure. Battle wounds to be proud of.

and that is the tale of my Canadian-white-girl problem.

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